Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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