Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
