I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
