I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize