I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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