that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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