just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
