Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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