My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Randomize
