i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
