Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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