were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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