her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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