It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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