you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
This house was built for laser tag.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
