why didn't you poke me back
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
