even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
