yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
