She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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