i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
