What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
