I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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