her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
