oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
