I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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