the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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