Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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