Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
