I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
