PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
