He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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