i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
