my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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