I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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