I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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