It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
