6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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