someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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