Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
