Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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