There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
