I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
