i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
