and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
