I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
