Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
