Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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