dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
