We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
