Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
