your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
