You smell like a Billy Joel song
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm passing your future prison.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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