And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
