I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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