Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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