Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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