I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
