You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She even gives head with a lisp.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
