You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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