mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
That reminds me...we need to get swords
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
