just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
