So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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