I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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